Recovery from a suicide attempt feels a lot like resurrection. For the spouse of someone who just caused their own near-death experience, managing the aftermath is unthinkable and overwhelming. In Episode 24 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast, Rev. Liz Edman interviews Steve and Lindsey Austin. This one is all about the years of recovery since the day Steve tried to die. This extremely vulnerable conversation is the messy marriage story the Austins have been waiting five years to share.
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Never would I have dreamed this would be a part of the “for better or for worse” wedding vows I uttered with every intention of living up to. I had every right to leave. To say, “This is too much. This isn’t fair.”
My heart was torn into pieces, but no one could hear it. I knew leaving would mean I would only remember the worst of him, and I would be choosing that fate for my son, too. Even though the day was nearly unbearable, I didn’t want the worst day of my life to define the rest of my life.
It’s been five years now, since the cold tile floor and chatter of nurses in that ICU room. To say every day has been easy would be a lie. Forgiveness is a multi-step process. Each time I have intentionally made a new, happy memory with my husband, I have fought against bitterness and blame.
Our marriage isn’t perfect, but we are beginning to reap the benefits of digging through the nastiest parts of our souls. And we have done it together, for better or for worse.
Liz Edman is an Episocopal priest, and author of Queer Virtue. Get your copy today.
- Music for today’s episode by Act of Congress. Visit their site and purchase their music today.
- Get your copy of From Pastor to a Psych Ward today. Click here.
- Listen to From Pastor to a Psych Ward on iTunes. Click here to subscribe.
Steve Austin is a life coach, speaker, and author of Self-Care for the Wounded Soul. Steve’s goal is to help you create a lifestyle of focused emotional health and clarity. Looking for more ways to create space? Subscribe to Steve Austin’s free weekly newsletter by clicking right here.
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