Category Archives: Marriage

The #AskSteveAustin Podcast

Vertellis: Less Small Talk, More Genuine Conversations



Vertellis is all about less small talk, and more genuine conversations. But what the heck is a “vertellis”? Find out more on this bonus episode of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast!

Vertellis

Visit vertellis.com to get yours today!

Retweet the pinned post on Steve Austin’s Twitter account at twitter.com/iamsteveaustin for a chance to win your very own copy of this game!

Music: Bensound.com

The #AskSteveAustin Podcast is sponsored by Audible. Sign up today and get your first month FREE at AudibleTrial.com/AskSteveAustin


5 Dates with Mike Foster

Why You Should Stop Focusing on Your Relationship Problems (Mike Foster)



Join Steve Austin and Mike Foster on Episode 51 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast for a brand-new look at relationships. If you’re tired of hearing the same old relationship advice, don’t miss this talk about Mike and Jennifer Foster’s new workbook, Five Dates.

5 Dates with Mike Foster

Show notes:

  • Mike Foster describes himself as an imperfectionist and friend of second chancers. He has published wonderfully helpful curriculum like “Freeway” and “Wonderflife” and started the Rescue Academy, which I’ve had the joy of working through. Mike’s work has been featured on Good Morning America, Fox News and in the New York Times, plus an appearance on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
  • Listen and subscribe to Mike’s FunTherapy podcast.
  • Talking styles of men and women (hint: they’re different).
  • What do we need to know if we’re in a relationship with someone who has a lot of past trauma or baggage?
  • What role does compassion play in a relationship?
  • Advice for the couple who says, “we’ve tried everything and nothing has worked”.
  • Marriage counseling usually doesn’t work because: a) people go too late, and b) focusing on problems stirs up more problems and pain.
  • Get the book at FiveDates.co
  • Check out People of the Second Chance at secondchance.org
  • Retweet Steve’s pinned post on Twitter for a chance to win a copy of the Five Dates workbooks!

Tweetable Moments with Mike:

  • Fifty percent of any relationship is one hundred percent you.
  • I’m going to spend the rest of my life helping people feel less alone.
  • … loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unheard.
  • Complexity keeps people stuck.
  • I want to have compassion anchor every transaction.
  • Don’t work on your problems, work on your togetherness.
  • Men communicate to win and to compete; women communicate to create togetherness and connection.
  • Blame is a quick way to discharge our pain.
  • Oftentimes, the problems we’re facing today come from our family of origin.

Additional Resources:

  • For grace-based goodness from Steve Austin, go to messygrace.com
  • For life coaching tips and more resources, go to iamsteveaustin.com
  • Follow Steve on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
  • Steve Austin’s first book, the Amazon best-seller, From Pastor to a Psych Ward, is now on Audible! It was the #1 new release in the suicide category last week. Steve is giving away free downloads of this new audio book, and all you have to do to snag one is email steve@iamsteveaustin.com if you live in the US or UK.
  • Join the Messy Grace Tribe on Facebook! It’s an exclusive, closed Facebook group for supporters and guests of the podcast. If you’re looking for a way to continue this conversation every single day with other likeminded, grace-filled people, you can sign up for as little as $1 a month by going to patreon.com/iamsteveaustin

gifts of grief

The Gifts of Grief? Are You Serious?



In Episode 42, Steve has way too much fun with the best-selling author (and ok, fine, his friend, Natalie Can-I-Get-Your-Autograph Brenner).

gifts of grief

So, in many instances, the AskSteveAustin podcast has become the place where progressive Christian authors and artists come to share their work. And let me tell you – Natalie Brenner has written a book that I love. This Undeserved Life: Uncovering the Gifts of Grief and the Fullness of Life is beautiful. The writing…omg…it’s beautiful. There are a few writers I know whose words like sing right off the page, and they are, Sarah Robinson, Anne Voskamp, and Natalie Brenner.

When books make me silently weep, without fanfare, just cry those big fat releasing tears because my soul is saying yes – that’s a good book. That’s a really REALLY good book.

Questions about the gifts of grief:

  1. You talk about Jesus in a very genuine and loving way – but your heart at times has nearly been crushed under the weight of grief. How do you reconcile the two? And what the heck do you mean when you say the gifts of grief?
  2. Can we talk about the struggle with church hurts when all you really want to do is love Jesus and his people?
  3. Who is Jesus?
  4. Why is it so important to create a safe space for others to be vulnerable?
  5. What’s it like to parent a child of a different race?
  6. Autographed book giveaway! Retweet this week’s pinned post on twitter @iamsteveaustin for your chance to win a personalized, autographed copy of This Undeserved Life by Natalie Brenner
  7. Compassion means to co-suffer. OMG. Yes, she said that.
  8. NatalieBrennerWrites.com
  9. Music: Bensound.com
  10. Get all of Steve Austin’s info at iamsteveaustin.com

trey pearson

Trey Pearson says Love is Love



In Episode 38 of The #AskSteveAustin Podcast, Steve Austin is honored to have Trey Pearson on the show. In this episode, Trey shares songs from his new EP, “Love is Love”, plus dives deep into his story of coming out of the closet while he was married to a woman.

trey pearson
Source: treypearson.com

Some questions from today’s conversation:

  • What’s it like growing up in a conservative home, being taught that sexual orientation is a matter of choice, and having to suppress your thoughts and feelings and desires?
  • And what advice would you give to the teenager, being raised in a conservative family and/or evangelical Christianity, who is just waking up to who they really are?
  • You were married to a woman for 7 years before you came out as a gay man, what was the tipping point for you?
  • What do you want to say to the gay man, who is scared to death, hiding behind the mask of a heterosexual marriage?

From TreyPearson.com

With his band Everyday Sunday, Trey Pearson has sold hundreds of thousands of records, and amassed millions of streams. He has scored 5 #1 U.S. singles and 20 Top 10 hits. His song “Wake Up! Wake Up!” was the most-played Christian rock song of 2007, and his 2009 album, “Best Night of Our Lives,” broke onto the coveted Billboard 200 chart. Pearson has toured in all 50 states and 20 countries, playing with top Christian musicians such as Toby Mac, Switchfoot, MercyMe, Jeremy Camp, Relient K and others.

Recently, Trey Pearson, the founder and owner of Everyday Sunday, has come out of the closet to make national news. His announcement started a national conversation with a television appearance on The View. It has been covered by The New York Times, Billboard Magazine, CNN and more, as he became the most trending topic worldwide on Facebook.


Trey is so generous and so excited about this album that he wants to give away one autographed copy of his brand-new Album, love is love. For your chance to win, follow me on Twitter @iamsteveaustin and Retweet my pinned post that’s all about today’s episode. I’ll announce the winner of the autographed copy of Love is Love at the beginning of next week’s show.

You can also listen on iTunes.

JOIN THE EXCLUSIVE #ASKSTEVEAUSTIN FACEBOOK COMMUNITY FOR AS LITTLE AS $1 PER MONTH! DETAILS AT PATREON.COM/IAMSTEVEAUSTIN

ORDER YOUR COPY OF SELF-CARE FOR THE WOUNDED SOUL: 21 DAYS OF MESSY GRACE, BY STEVE AUSTIN TODAY ON AMAZON.

*Music: Bensound.com

“The Good Grief” and “Love is Love” by Trey Pearson. Both songs shared with permission.


How Do I Get More Sex?



You asked for it, well now you got it. In Episode 30 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast, Steve Austin talks with Katie and Candice from Free Sex Podcast about how to get more sex. This is the conversation you’ve been waiting for! If you’re married and tired of #LameChristianSex, don’t miss this episode.

get more sex











Disclaimer: This episode is NSFW. If you’re easily offended, don’t listen. If sex talk makes you uncomfortable, skip this episode. If you’re a victim of sexual trauma, this one could be triggering. If you’ve been doing it missionary position since 1984 and you’re perfectly content, this may not be the episode for you (or maybe it totally freakin’ is).

Don’t listen with your kids in the car. Or your Grandma. 

If you ignore these warnings and disclaimers, do NOT email Steve Austin to complain.

Otherwise, buckle up and get ready to have some fun. This one is gonna blow your…mind.

JOIN THE EXCLUSIVE #ASKSTEVEAUSTIN FACEBOOK COMMUNITY FOR AS LITTLE AS $1 PER MONTH! DETAILS AT PATREON.COM/IAMSTEVEAUSTIN

In this episode:

  1. How can we counter some of the damage of purity culture we grew up in once we are married?

  2. What should pastors be saying from the pulpit?

  3. Is Jesus peeking under the door while my wife and I do the horizontal polka?

  4. What do you do when she (or he) doesn’t want it?

  5. Sex after kids?

  6. What do you think is ok/not ok for looking at the opposite sex?

  7. What do women REALLY think about oral?

  8. My wife has an orgasm every time we have sex. Sometimes twice. Is she lying to me?

  9. The truth about marriage and masturbation

  10. Sex furniture

  11. What about men or women who were victims of abuse and have hang-ups around sex?

  12. Sexual hygiene

  13. The one sex toy every married couple needs

  14. Confession – I love dirty talk. Am I going to hell?

  15. WTF is pegging?

YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN ON ITUNES OR PODBEAN.

Candice and Katie started Free Sex Podcast to have an open and grace-filled conversation about sex and marriage in the Christian community. Pushing away from shame and embarrassment brought on by the purity culture, they talk unfiltered about their marriages, interview experts and answer questions sent in by their listeners. You can get all the details at FreeSexPod.com and subscribe on iTunes. Got more questions? Email Katie and Candice at hello@freesexpod.com

lame christian sex

Steve Austin is a life coach, speaker, and author of Self-Care for the Wounded Soul. Steve’s goal is to help you create a lifestyle of focused emotional health and clarity. Looking for more ways to create space? Subscribe to Steve Austin’s free weekly newsletter by clicking right here. 


Stop Trying to be The Proverbs 31 Woman



Stephanie Long joins Steve Austin for Episode 28 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast. Stephanie says women should stop trying to be The Proverbs 31 Woman (because she wasn’t even a real woman). In this episode, we’ll talk about women in the church, feminism, rape culture, and so much more!

proverbs 31 woman











JOIN THE EXCLUSIVE #ASKSTEVEAUSTIN FACEBOOK COMMUNITY FOR AS LITTLE AS $1 PER MONTH! DETAILS AT PATREON.COM/IAMSTEVEAUSTIN

stephanie long

Bio: Stephanie Long is a writer, editor, wife, and mother. She writes at redeemedformore.com about life, faith, social justice issues, and mental health. Connect with her on Twitter @stephanielong85 and on Facebook at facebook.com/redeemedformore.

YOU CAN ALSO LISTEN ON ITUNES OR PODBEAN.

Show Notes:

  • Women are not the afterthought of creation.
  • The Proverbs 31 Woman was not a real person.
  • Link to Not Your Pastor’s Pulpit Episode
  • Relevant Magazine Article – #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
  • Objectification of Our ‘Dangerous’ Bodies
  • Abuse and Rape in the Church
  • Women’s Roles and Identity
  • Racism and Sexism
  • So if I’m a male leader in the church – or just a Christian who happens to be a man – what do you need from me? 
  • Abortion
  • Rape culture
  • Why does the church assume it is the woman’s responsibility to not in any way ‘provoke’ men?
  • Music by Act of Congress

Steve Austin is a life coach, speaker, and author of Self-Care for the Wounded Soul. Steve’s goal is to help you create a lifestyle of focused emotional health and clarity. Looking for more ways to create space? Subscribe to Steve Austin’s free weekly newsletter by clicking right here.


How to Survive When Your Spouse Tries to Die by Suicide



Recovery from a suicide attempt feels a lot like resurrection. For the spouse of someone who just caused their own near-death experience, managing the aftermath is unthinkable and overwhelming. In Episode 24 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast, Rev. Liz Edman interviews Steve and Lindsey Austin. This one is all about the years of recovery since the day Steve tried to die. This extremely vulnerable conversation is the messy marriage story the Austins have been waiting five years to share. 

survive spouse suicide attempt











Join the Exclusive #AskSteveAustin Facebook Community for as little as $1 per month! Details at patreon.com/iamsteveaustin

A note from Lindsey:

Never would I have dreamed this would be a part of the “for better or for worse” wedding vows I uttered with every intention of living up to. I had every right to leave. To say, “This is too much. This isn’t fair.”

My heart was torn into pieces, but no one could hear it. I knew leaving would mean I would only remember the worst of him, and I would be choosing that fate for my son, too. Even though the day was nearly unbearable, I didn’t want the worst day of my life to define the rest of my life.

It’s been five years now, since the cold tile floor and chatter of nurses in that ICU room. To say every day has been easy would be a lie. Forgiveness is a multi-step process. Each time I have intentionally made a new, happy memory with my husband, I have fought against bitterness and blame.

Our marriage isn’t perfect, but we are beginning to reap the benefits of digging through the nastiest parts of our souls. And we have done it together, for better or for worse.

Read the rest of this powerful confession by clicking right here.

Show notes:

Steve Austin is a life coach, speaker, and author of Self-Care for the Wounded Soul. Steve’s goal is to help you create a lifestyle of focused emotional health and clarity. Looking for more ways to create space? Subscribe to Steve Austin’s free weekly newsletter by clicking right here.

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The Heart of Man (with Paul Young)



In Episode 23 of the #AskSteveAustin Podcast, Steve Austin and Paul Young discuss the upcoming docudrama, “The Heart of Man”. In this episode, Steve and Paul talk about the truth about sex, abuse, addiction, and recovery. Do not miss this episode.

the heart of man movie

Synopsis (from the website):

“The Heart of Man” is a story inviting the sons and daughters of God to leave behind our broken, moralistic and religious way of thinking and relating to God and to others. Once we begin to know who God is (and as a result who we are), we have something to invite the world into. Freedom from performance. Freedom from managing our behavior so we appear acceptable to God. Freedom from our addictions, compulsive behaviors, secrecy and double lives. This film tears the veil of confusion over the church’s current identity crisis and enables it to invite the rest of the world to the banquet God is throwing all of us.

The film features emotional interviews with real people going through their mess and subsequent healing, and includes expert witnesses of such men as William Paul Young, author of the NY Times best-selling novel The Shack, Dan Allender, Ph.D, author of The Wounded Heart and Spoken Word Artist Jackie Hill Perry. All of that is interwoven with a production-rich “prodigal son” narrative story shot in Hawaii.

Show notes:

  • Get more details about the movie here – http://heartofmanmovie.com/
  • Movie is out in theaters on September 14th ONLY – out on DVD soon after.
  • Light has to enter into the darkness of our secrets for transformation to be possible.
  • Abuse, addiction, and affairs.
  • When people become authentic storytellers, it grants hope to those of us who are in the dark of our own secrets.
  • Shame and fear are awfully effective motivators.
  • People don’t enter this relationship with Jesus – they enter a relationship with Hell.
  • Millennials aren’t comitted to the affiliations that kept them in hiding.
  • What if Jesus is just asking us to invite us into the darkness?
  • At the very darkest place, you will find that Jesus is there.
  • There is no darkness that I bring to the table that God is not already in.
  • Transformation is not you becoming something that you were not before, but revelating what you’ve been the entire time.
  • I’m not defined by my erratic behaviors, but by who God says I am.
  • All you need is a seed.
  • Music in today’s episode from the score for “The Heart of Man”. Music by Tony Anderson.

Steve Austin is a life coach, speaker, and author of Self-Care for the Wounded Soul. Steve’s goal is to help you create a lifestyle of focused emotional health and clarity. Looking for more ways to create space? Subscribe to Steve Austin’s free weekly newsletter by clicking right here.

You can also listen on iTunes or Podbean.
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